by QuercySeries » Fri Nov 25, 2016 11:31 pm
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
If there was someone selling drugs in this place, weed know.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.
Why don't programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.
I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.
When notes get in treble, bass-ically they get put behind bars. The alto-nate punishment is to push them off a clef and hope they land flat on sharp objects.
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking outside the box.
I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.
The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize.
Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
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I love using big words to sound smart...
I mean utilizing
Gargantuan
Idioms to
fabricate intelligence ~