Just ask yourself this; what will you gain from suicide, and what will other people gain from your suicide?
You would possibly gain pleasure? Release from the hatred that lingers within you? Seems fair on your side, but what toll would this place on other people?
Imagine your family members waking up to find a lifeless body of someone who could do something with their life. The horror of a sibling and/or parent walking in to see their dead sibling / child within whatever method you would have committed in.
It's never okay to kill yourself. In fact, it's greedy of you to even think about that. Greedy in the sense that you're going to make so many other people upset simply to make yourself not exist.
I understand you may have had a tough uprising, and many issues that would have lead to this point, but removing your own happiness and existence will only lead a butterfly effect to ruin other people's lives.
That's that sad thing about life too, even so we are just programmed to study, get good grades, get currency and die after. Life is what you make it to be, if you want to waste your starting working years procrastinating and feeling sorry for yourself, then you're just going to end up deeper in the void that is your emotions.
http://www.samaritans.org/During my depths of depression, this helpline allowed me to talk to them about anything. Even Helmet heroes, and I played with someone on helmet heroes who worked there. They can be pretty helpful.