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Jokes!

PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 5:34 am
by madchafer
Post your jokes here, and see who does the best!

My Formal Character, is a mexican child, called "Juan" And Juan's friends, are all retarded

Lets start shall we?!



*One day, Juan must pass his homework before its overdue*

Teacher: JUAN! Why can't you follow any of my instructions?! If you don't pass your homework tomorrow, you'll surely redo this grade! Ask your parents for help this time....
Juan: Yes Maam!

*Back at home*
Juan: Mama! I'm home! Whats the answer for number one?!
Mother: *Cooking Fried Chicken* *Oil lands on arm* AGHH! WHAT THE F*CK! BLACK NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA! ASSHOLE!
Juan: Okay...What.....Black....Nigga.....Asshole...Thanks Mama!

Juan: Papa! Whats the answer for number two ?
Dad: *In the toilet* I'm sitting in the bowl! I'm sitting in the bowl!
Juan: Okay...Sitting.....the.....bowl....Okay! Thanks papa!

Juan: Bro! Whats the answer for number three?
Brother: *Reciting a school play* I shall return!
Juan: Okay, I shall return....Thanks bro!

*Back at school*
Teacher: Juan! Did you do your homework?!
Juan: Yes Maam! And my family helped me!
Teacher: Good, what is number one?
Juan: AGHH! NIGGA! NIGGA! NIGGA! ASSHOLE!
Teacher: JUAN! Sit down immediately!
Juan: *Proceeds to number two* I'm sitting in the bowl! I'm sitting in the bowl!
Teacher: Go To the Principal's office right now!!
Juan: *Proceeds to number three* I shall return!!
Juan: Is it all correct teacher?!
Teacher: JUST GET OUT YOU FILTHY PIG!


Re: Jokes!

PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 5:47 am
by bloodstrikez
3/10.. Not really funny.

Re: Jokes!

PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 7:37 am
by Husker
Image

Re: Jokes!

PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 1:09 pm
by Tomatha
bloodstrikez wrote:3/10.. Not really funny.

I'm not sure who the ideal audience for this joke is...

Re: Jokes!

PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 8:08 pm
by ArnoldElfman
I don't get it.

Re: Jokes!

PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 2:43 am
by EliasDaniel
#plugin("object", "export", "Roblox Mesh", ".mesh");
#file($output, "text");
#return($result);

file $output;
int $result;
object $obj;
shape $shape, $shapes[1], $childShapes[1];
tridata $data;
material $mat;
int $numFaces;
point3 $point, $normal, $color;
point2 $uv;
int $i;
int $j;
int $index, $mIndex;
int $count;
float $gCol;
string $nm;
string $newName;
float4x4 $tMatrix;

$nm = $output.GetRoot();

$obj = project.curObject;
$output.print("version 1.00\n");
$obj.GetShapes($childShapes);
$shapes.size = 0;
while($childShapes.size > 0)
{
$shapes.push($childShapes.pop());
}
while($shapes.size > 0)
{
$shape = $shapes.pop();
$shape = $shape.ConvertToMesh();
$data = $shape.GetTriangleData();
$numFaces = $data.GetNumTriangles();
$tMatrix = $shape.GetGlobalTransform();
$output.print("%d\n",$numFaces);
for $i = 0 to $numFaces - 1 do {
for $j = 0 to 2 step 1 do {
$index = $data.GetIndex(($i*3)+$j);
$point = $data.GetPoint($index);
$point = $tMatrix.Proect($point);
$normal = $data.GetNormal($index);
$uv = $data.GetTexCoord($index);
$output.print("[%.6g, %.6g, %.6g]", $point.x, $point.y, $point.z);
$output.print("[%.5f, %.5f, %.5f]", $normal.x, $normal.y, $normal.z);
$output.print("[%.5f, %.5f, 0]", $uv.x, $uv.y);
}
}
}


$result = 1;


See what i did wrong that a funny joke ehh :D 8-) 8-) 8-) :lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: Jokes!

PostPosted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 4:00 pm
by killingsucker77
EliasDaniel wrote:#plugin("object", "export", "Roblox Mesh", ".mesh");
#file($output, "text");
#return($result);

file $output;
int $result;
object $obj;
shape $shape, $shapes[1], $childShapes[1];
tridata $data;
material $mat;
int $numFaces;
point3 $point, $normal, $color;
point2 $uv;
int $i;
int $j;
int $index, $mIndex;
int $count;
float $gCol;
string $nm;
string $newName;
float4x4 $tMatrix;

$nm = $output.GetRoot();

$obj = project.curObject;
$output.print("version 1.00\n");
$obj.GetShapes($childShapes);
$shapes.size = 0;
while($childShapes.size > 0)
{
$shapes.push($childShapes.pop());
}
while($shapes.size > 0)
{
$shape = $shapes.pop();
$shape = $shape.ConvertToMesh();
$data = $shape.GetTriangleData();
$numFaces = $data.GetNumTriangles();
$tMatrix = $shape.GetGlobalTransform();
$output.print("%d\n",$numFaces);
for $i = 0 to $numFaces - 1 do {
for $j = 0 to 2 step 1 do {
$index = $data.GetIndex(($i*3)+$j);
$point = $data.GetPoint($index);
$point = $tMatrix.Proect($point);
$normal = $data.GetNormal($index);
$uv = $data.GetTexCoord($index);
$output.print("[%.6g, %.6g, %.6g]", $point.x, $point.y, $point.z);
$output.print("[%.5f, %.5f, %.5f]", $normal.x, $normal.y, $normal.z);
$output.print("[%.5f, %.5f, 0]", $uv.x, $uv.y);
}
}
}


$result = 1;


See what i did wrong that a funny joke ehh :D 8-) 8-) 8-) :lol: :lol: :lol:

What"s this, It makes the reader crazy, :!:

Re: Jokes!

PostPosted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 11:59 pm
by machstormer
This thread is labled "Jokes!"

I must be using the wrong dictionary.
According to 4 different dictionaries that I have checked, jokes are supposed to have at least a little bit of humor.

Re: Jokes!

PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 6:19 pm
by BarrettM82A1
EliasDaniel wrote: $point = $data.GetPoint($index);
$point = $tMatrix.Proect($point);
$normal = $data.GetNormal($index);

You spelled Project Wrong
I dont get it

Re: Jokes!

PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 4:14 am
by GOD_OF_PAIN
I have my own joke too, check it out :lol:

Teacher: Ok class tonight's homework is to study about all the birds we learned about :)
Student: Alright, I'll do my best!
Teacher: It's due in 2 days

2 DAYS LATER......

Student: Hey I studied about the birds! I learned what kind of feathers each bird has, how to tell which is which, and a lot more! I just know i'm going to get a good grade! :D
Teacher: Very good! :) *reveals pictures of bird legs* Can you tell me the names of the birds by looking at their legs?
Student: ..... WHAT?! SO I JUST WENT GO READ IN MY BOOK ABOUT ALL THE INFOMATION ABOUT ALL THE BIRDS, AND YOU GIVE ME THIS!? YOU GIVE ME WHAT THEIR NAMES ARE BY LOOKING AT THIER LEGS!?? WHAT THE HECK!?
Teacher: That's it, go to the principal's office right now! And you know I can give you an F right?
Student: Go ahead I don't care, give me an F *walks through door*
Teacher: Hold on! What's your name?
Student: *puts up leg* You tell me!!


I heard this story from a paster (LOL did I spell it right?) from my church, and it was his birthday, so he told the church a joke. Anyways I thought it was funny, but tell me what you think :D

Re: Jokes!

PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 6:26 am
by madchafer
GOD_OF_PAIN wrote:I have my own joke too, check it out :lol:

Teacher: Ok class tonight's homework is to study about all the birds we learned about :)
Student: Alright, I'll do my best!
Teacher: It's due in 2 days

2 DAYS LATER......

Student: Hey I studied about the birds! I learned what kind of feathers each bird has, how to tell which is which, and a lot more! I just know i'm going to get a good grade! :D
Teacher: Very good! :) *reveals pictures of bird legs* Can you tell me the names of the birds by looking at their legs?
Student: ..... WHAT?! SO I JUST WENT GO READ IN MY BOOK ABOUT ALL THE INFOMATION ABOUT ALL THE BIRDS, AND YOU GIVE ME THIS!? YOU GIVE ME WHAT THEIR NAMES ARE BY LOOKING AT THIER LEGS!?? WHAT THE HECK!?
Teacher: That's it, go to the principal's office right now! And you know I can give you an F right?
Student: Go ahead I don't care, give me an F *walks through door*
Teacher: Hold on! What's your name?
Student: *puts up leg* You tell me!!


I heard this story from a paster (LOL did I spell it right?) from my church, and it was his birthday, so he told the church a joke. Anyways I thought it was funny, but tell me what you think :D


Not bad, in fact! I love the story! Who'd know that Priests/Pastors can be funny?

Re: Jokes!

PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 5:30 am
by madchafer
And heres my joke if its American version: (Meme Version)

Re: Jokes!

PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 7:02 pm
by Metalmorphosist
madchafer wrote:And heres my joke if its American version: (Meme Version)
BWAHAHAHA THIS GOT ME LAUGHING SO HARD XD

Re: Jokes!

PostPosted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 5:34 pm
by EliasDaniel
BarrettM82A1 wrote:
EliasDaniel wrote: $point = $data.GetPoint($index);
$point = $tMatrix.Proect($point);
$normal = $data.GetNormal($index);

You spelled Project Wrong
I dont get it

THAT THE JOKE LOLOLOLOL

Re: Jokes!

PostPosted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 10:07 pm
by Contracter
A boy goes to school with carrots in his ears and the teacher stops writing on the board and says why do you have carrots in your ears and the boy says "what?" :lol: :roll:

Re: Jokes!

PostPosted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 10:18 pm
by BarrettM82A1
Q. What's the integral of 1/cabin with respect to cabin?






A. A houseboat
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: Jokes!

PostPosted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 10:29 pm
by Contressa
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

The Holocaust.


___________________

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I have a gun.
Get in the van.

___________________

what's brown and sticky?

A stick.

___________________

Figured id get some anti-humor in here. My favorite ones the stick one! haha

Re: Jokes!

PostPosted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 10:40 pm
by Contracter
What do
you call a Eskimo
flying a plane
A Pilot

didnt want to say some other race and offend anyone

Re: Jokes!

PostPosted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 10:58 pm
by BarrettM82A1
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?




A: A ferrous wheel

Re: Jokes!

PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 12:32 pm
by Konrad
BarrettM82A1 wrote:Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

Can confirm.
http://funhoo.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Ferrous-Wheel.jpg
So much for a delocalised ring system...
______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Q: Why did the cute little monkey fall out of the tree?



A: She was dead.

Re: Jokes!

PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 3:41 pm
by penhead
lmfao .. xDD

take one from sheldon; A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink, the bartender replies "for you, no charge" ba-da-sha//

it's funny cuz neutrons don't have legs....

Re: Jokes!

PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 4:07 pm
by ataak
Q.Why was six afraid of seven?
A.Because seven is a registered six offender.


Knock knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No you're a poo!


Q.What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
A.Virgin mobile!


heehe!

Re: Jokes!

PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 4:11 pm
by ataak
Contressa wrote:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I have a gun.
Get in the van.

___________________





Ohh this is delightfully awful... Contressa wins!

Re: Jokes!

PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 6:32 am
by madchafer
ataak wrote:
Contressa wrote:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I have a gun.
Get in the van.

___________________





Ohh this is delightfully awful... Contressa wins!


Lawl!

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have a d*ck
Get in the pedo-van


Roses are red
Violets are red
Daisies are red
My garden is on fire now...


Roses are red
Violets are blue
You look like a monkey
F*ck you

Re: Jokes!

PostPosted: Thu Nov 21, 2013 9:51 pm
by Sasuke
madchafer wrote:
ataak wrote:
Contressa wrote:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I have a gun.
Get in the van.

___________________





Ohh this is delightfully awful... Contressa wins!


Lawl!

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have a d*ck
Get in the pedo-van


Roses are red
Violets are red
Daisies are red
My garden is on fire now...


Roses are red
Violets are blue
You look like a monkey
F*ck you


How about "and" in front of f*ck you?