Jokes!

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Jokes!

Postby madchafer » Fri Oct 25, 2013 5:34 am

Post your jokes here, and see who does the best!

My Formal Character, is a mexican child, called "Juan" And Juan's friends, are all retarded

Lets start shall we?!



*One day, Juan must pass his homework before its overdue*

Teacher: JUAN! Why can't you follow any of my instructions?! If you don't pass your homework tomorrow, you'll surely redo this grade! Ask your parents for help this time....
Juan: Yes Maam!

*Back at home*
Juan: Mama! I'm home! Whats the answer for number one?!
Mother: *Cooking Fried Chicken* *Oil lands on arm* AGHH! WHAT THE F*CK! BLACK NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA! ASSHOLE!
Juan: Okay...What.....Black....Nigga.....Asshole...Thanks Mama!

Juan: Papa! Whats the answer for number two ?
Dad: *In the toilet* I'm sitting in the bowl! I'm sitting in the bowl!
Juan: Okay...Sitting.....the.....bowl....Okay! Thanks papa!

Juan: Bro! Whats the answer for number three?
Brother: *Reciting a school play* I shall return!
Juan: Okay, I shall return....Thanks bro!

*Back at school*
Teacher: Juan! Did you do your homework?!
Juan: Yes Maam! And my family helped me!
Teacher: Good, what is number one?
Juan: AGHH! NIGGA! NIGGA! NIGGA! ASSHOLE!
Teacher: JUAN! Sit down immediately!
Juan: *Proceeds to number two* I'm sitting in the bowl! I'm sitting in the bowl!
Teacher: Go To the Principal's office right now!!
Juan: *Proceeds to number three* I shall return!!
Juan: Is it all correct teacher?!
Teacher: JUST GET OUT YOU FILTHY PIG!

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Re: Jokes!

Postby bloodstrikez » Fri Oct 25, 2013 5:47 am

3/10.. Not really funny.
Watch out for the hidden message.
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Re: Jokes!

Postby Husker » Fri Oct 25, 2013 7:37 am

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Re: Jokes!

Postby Tomatha » Fri Oct 25, 2013 1:09 pm

bloodstrikez wrote:3/10.. Not really funny.

I'm not sure who the ideal audience for this joke is...
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Re: Jokes!

Postby ArnoldElfman » Fri Oct 25, 2013 8:08 pm

I don't get it.
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Re: Jokes!

Postby EliasDaniel » Sat Oct 26, 2013 2:43 am

#plugin("object", "export", "Roblox Mesh", ".mesh");
#file($output, "text");
#return($result);

file $output;
int $result;
object $obj;
shape $shape, $shapes[1], $childShapes[1];
tridata $data;
material $mat;
int $numFaces;
point3 $point, $normal, $color;
point2 $uv;
int $i;
int $j;
int $index, $mIndex;
int $count;
float $gCol;
string $nm;
string $newName;
float4x4 $tMatrix;

$nm = $output.GetRoot();

$obj = project.curObject;
$output.print("version 1.00\n");
$obj.GetShapes($childShapes);
$shapes.size = 0;
while($childShapes.size > 0)
{
$shapes.push($childShapes.pop());
}
while($shapes.size > 0)
{
$shape = $shapes.pop();
$shape = $shape.ConvertToMesh();
$data = $shape.GetTriangleData();
$numFaces = $data.GetNumTriangles();
$tMatrix = $shape.GetGlobalTransform();
$output.print("%d\n",$numFaces);
for $i = 0 to $numFaces - 1 do {
for $j = 0 to 2 step 1 do {
$index = $data.GetIndex(($i*3)+$j);
$point = $data.GetPoint($index);
$point = $tMatrix.Proect($point);
$normal = $data.GetNormal($index);
$uv = $data.GetTexCoord($index);
$output.print("[%.6g, %.6g, %.6g]", $point.x, $point.y, $point.z);
$output.print("[%.5f, %.5f, %.5f]", $normal.x, $normal.y, $normal.z);
$output.print("[%.5f, %.5f, 0]", $uv.x, $uv.y);
}
}
}


$result = 1;


See what i did wrong that a funny joke ehh :D 8-) 8-) 8-) :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Jokes!

Postby killingsucker77 » Thu Oct 31, 2013 4:00 pm

EliasDaniel wrote:#plugin("object", "export", "Roblox Mesh", ".mesh");
#file($output, "text");
#return($result);

file $output;
int $result;
object $obj;
shape $shape, $shapes[1], $childShapes[1];
tridata $data;
material $mat;
int $numFaces;
point3 $point, $normal, $color;
point2 $uv;
int $i;
int $j;
int $index, $mIndex;
int $count;
float $gCol;
string $nm;
string $newName;
float4x4 $tMatrix;

$nm = $output.GetRoot();

$obj = project.curObject;
$output.print("version 1.00\n");
$obj.GetShapes($childShapes);
$shapes.size = 0;
while($childShapes.size > 0)
{
$shapes.push($childShapes.pop());
}
while($shapes.size > 0)
{
$shape = $shapes.pop();
$shape = $shape.ConvertToMesh();
$data = $shape.GetTriangleData();
$numFaces = $data.GetNumTriangles();
$tMatrix = $shape.GetGlobalTransform();
$output.print("%d\n",$numFaces);
for $i = 0 to $numFaces - 1 do {
for $j = 0 to 2 step 1 do {
$index = $data.GetIndex(($i*3)+$j);
$point = $data.GetPoint($index);
$point = $tMatrix.Proect($point);
$normal = $data.GetNormal($index);
$uv = $data.GetTexCoord($index);
$output.print("[%.6g, %.6g, %.6g]", $point.x, $point.y, $point.z);
$output.print("[%.5f, %.5f, %.5f]", $normal.x, $normal.y, $normal.z);
$output.print("[%.5f, %.5f, 0]", $uv.x, $uv.y);
}
}
}


$result = 1;


See what i did wrong that a funny joke ehh :D 8-) 8-) 8-) :lol: :lol: :lol:

What"s this, It makes the reader crazy, :!:
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Re: Jokes!

Postby machstormer » Thu Oct 31, 2013 11:59 pm

This thread is labled "Jokes!"

I must be using the wrong dictionary.
According to 4 different dictionaries that I have checked, jokes are supposed to have at least a little bit of humor.
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Re: Jokes!

Postby BarrettM82A1 » Fri Nov 01, 2013 6:19 pm

EliasDaniel wrote: $point = $data.GetPoint($index);
$point = $tMatrix.Proect($point);
$normal = $data.GetNormal($index);

You spelled Project Wrong
I dont get it
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Re: Jokes!

Postby GOD_OF_PAIN » Sat Nov 02, 2013 4:14 am

I have my own joke too, check it out :lol:

Teacher: Ok class tonight's homework is to study about all the birds we learned about :)
Student: Alright, I'll do my best!
Teacher: It's due in 2 days

2 DAYS LATER......

Student: Hey I studied about the birds! I learned what kind of feathers each bird has, how to tell which is which, and a lot more! I just know i'm going to get a good grade! :D
Teacher: Very good! :) *reveals pictures of bird legs* Can you tell me the names of the birds by looking at their legs?
Student: ..... WHAT?! SO I JUST WENT GO READ IN MY BOOK ABOUT ALL THE INFOMATION ABOUT ALL THE BIRDS, AND YOU GIVE ME THIS!? YOU GIVE ME WHAT THEIR NAMES ARE BY LOOKING AT THIER LEGS!?? WHAT THE HECK!?
Teacher: That's it, go to the principal's office right now! And you know I can give you an F right?
Student: Go ahead I don't care, give me an F *walks through door*
Teacher: Hold on! What's your name?
Student: *puts up leg* You tell me!!


I heard this story from a paster (LOL did I spell it right?) from my church, and it was his birthday, so he told the church a joke. Anyways I thought it was funny, but tell me what you think :D
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Re: Jokes!

Postby madchafer » Sat Nov 02, 2013 6:26 am

GOD_OF_PAIN wrote:I have my own joke too, check it out :lol:

Teacher: Ok class tonight's homework is to study about all the birds we learned about :)
Student: Alright, I'll do my best!
Teacher: It's due in 2 days

2 DAYS LATER......

Student: Hey I studied about the birds! I learned what kind of feathers each bird has, how to tell which is which, and a lot more! I just know i'm going to get a good grade! :D
Teacher: Very good! :) *reveals pictures of bird legs* Can you tell me the names of the birds by looking at their legs?
Student: ..... WHAT?! SO I JUST WENT GO READ IN MY BOOK ABOUT ALL THE INFOMATION ABOUT ALL THE BIRDS, AND YOU GIVE ME THIS!? YOU GIVE ME WHAT THEIR NAMES ARE BY LOOKING AT THIER LEGS!?? WHAT THE HECK!?
Teacher: That's it, go to the principal's office right now! And you know I can give you an F right?
Student: Go ahead I don't care, give me an F *walks through door*
Teacher: Hold on! What's your name?
Student: *puts up leg* You tell me!!


I heard this story from a paster (LOL did I spell it right?) from my church, and it was his birthday, so he told the church a joke. Anyways I thought it was funny, but tell me what you think :D


Not bad, in fact! I love the story! Who'd know that Priests/Pastors can be funny?
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Re: Jokes!

Postby madchafer » Fri Nov 15, 2013 5:30 am

And heres my joke if its American version: (Meme Version)
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Re: Jokes!

Postby Metalmorphosist » Fri Nov 15, 2013 7:02 pm

madchafer wrote:And heres my joke if its American version: (Meme Version)
BWAHAHAHA THIS GOT ME LAUGHING SO HARD XD
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Re: Jokes!

Postby EliasDaniel » Mon Nov 18, 2013 5:34 pm

BarrettM82A1 wrote:
EliasDaniel wrote: $point = $data.GetPoint($index);
$point = $tMatrix.Proect($point);
$normal = $data.GetNormal($index);

You spelled Project Wrong
I dont get it

THAT THE JOKE LOLOLOLOL
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Re: Jokes!

Postby Contracter » Mon Nov 18, 2013 10:07 pm

A boy goes to school with carrots in his ears and the teacher stops writing on the board and says why do you have carrots in your ears and the boy says "what?" :lol: :roll:
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Spoiler: show
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Re: Jokes!

Postby BarrettM82A1 » Mon Nov 18, 2013 10:18 pm

Q. What's the integral of 1/cabin with respect to cabin?






A. A houseboat
:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Jokes!

Postby Contressa » Mon Nov 18, 2013 10:29 pm

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

The Holocaust.


___________________

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I have a gun.
Get in the van.

___________________

what's brown and sticky?

A stick.

___________________

Figured id get some anti-humor in here. My favorite ones the stick one! haha
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Re: Jokes!

Postby Contracter » Mon Nov 18, 2013 10:40 pm

What do
you call a Eskimo
flying a plane
A Pilot

didnt want to say some other race and offend anyone
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Re: Jokes!

Postby BarrettM82A1 » Mon Nov 18, 2013 10:58 pm

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?




A: A ferrous wheel
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Re: Jokes!

Postby Konrad » Tue Nov 19, 2013 12:32 pm

BarrettM82A1 wrote:Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

Can confirm.
http://funhoo.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Ferrous-Wheel.jpg
So much for a delocalised ring system...
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Q: Why did the cute little monkey fall out of the tree?



A: She was dead.
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Re: Jokes!

Postby penhead » Tue Nov 19, 2013 3:41 pm

lmfao .. xDD

take one from sheldon; A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink, the bartender replies "for you, no charge" ba-da-sha//

it's funny cuz neutrons don't have legs....
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Re: Jokes!

Postby ataak » Tue Nov 19, 2013 4:07 pm

Q.Why was six afraid of seven?
A.Because seven is a registered six offender.


Knock knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No you're a poo!


Q.What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
A.Virgin mobile!


heehe!
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@'~~you can't be mad when you're eating a cupcake~~'@
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Re: Jokes!

Postby ataak » Tue Nov 19, 2013 4:11 pm

Contressa wrote:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I have a gun.
Get in the van.

___________________





Ohh this is delightfully awful... Contressa wins!
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@'~~you can't be mad when you're eating a cupcake~~'@
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Re: Jokes!

Postby madchafer » Wed Nov 20, 2013 6:32 am

ataak wrote:
Contressa wrote:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I have a gun.
Get in the van.

___________________





Ohh this is delightfully awful... Contressa wins!


Lawl!

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have a d*ck
Get in the pedo-van


Roses are red
Violets are red
Daisies are red
My garden is on fire now...


Roses are red
Violets are blue
You look like a monkey
F*ck you
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Re: Jokes!

Postby Sasuke » Thu Nov 21, 2013 9:51 pm

madchafer wrote:
ataak wrote:
Contressa wrote:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I have a gun.
Get in the van.

___________________





Ohh this is delightfully awful... Contressa wins!


Lawl!

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have a d*ck
Get in the pedo-van


Roses are red
Violets are red
Daisies are red
My garden is on fire now...


Roses are red
Violets are blue
You look like a monkey
F*ck you


How about "and" in front of f*ck you?
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~Nya!
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